The Beauty in Being Broken

A perfect afternoon for a stroll. She grabbed her keys and, leaving her phone at home, she looked both directions from her front door before deciding to walk down to the park. It was less than a mile, but the walk might clear her head and relax her body. She looked at the trees and sky. Weather at the beginning of summer was always so weird. Some days felt blistering while others seemed more like fall. Today had more of a fall feel: warm sun, cool breeze. Some flowers were blooming while others seemed to be deciding if they should. Much like people. Some bloom no matter what is going on in their lives. She wasn’t one who bloomed easily.

She stepped around a puddle. The pavement had mostly dried from last night’s rain. How it had poured! She’d heard it pounding her windows. And what thunder! She had hidden under the covers a couple of times it was so loud. She dodged another puddle and headed down a street of small homes with gardens that would soon bloom like a rainbow. She noticed a bright flower peeking through the leaves. She stopped to look at it. As she stood there, it was as if she could see herself looking at the flower. What a strange but nice feeling, looking at herself looking at the flower.

A few years ago, she would have crushed the flower … picked it off its stem and stomped on it just because it was pretty and looked happy and she wasn’t. Her life still wasn’t very nice, but things were getting better.

Another time, she would have picked the flower because she wanted to keep its loveliness to make up for what she did not have. The flower would have died for lack of water. She would have thrown it away, blaming the flower for dying though she was the one who had picked it.

Today, though, she simply enjoyed its bright color and scent and promised herself that she would let more hope and faith into her life. She would let more light into her life and let that light brighten the dark corners, and when she saw things she didn’t like, she would look at them and get rid of what no longer worked for her. That’s hard, she thought. Yes, she told herself, but I have attitudes that are hurting me, and I could be happier if I got rid of them.

That’s what I’ll do, she said to herself. I’ll get rid of attitudes and things I do that aren’t good for me, but I’ll keep the things that help me to be truly happy. Then she thought an important thought about the anger she had carried so long. Anger has kept me going, but the price is so huge. What if I just let go of my anger? She thought about that. I think I’ll try, she promised herself. She smiled as she entered the park.